Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Ditto: The 10 Lamest Romantic Lines in Cinematic History

In honor of Valentines Day I deciding to make a list of love. Well... kind of.

10)


THE MOVIE: Pretty Woman (1990)
THE SCENE: She walked off the streets and into our hearts. And when showing how deep a Hooker can go (ahem) Julia Roberts tells a story that is in no way a microcosm for this entire diatribe of a movie. Nope. Not at all.
THE LINE:  Richard Gere "So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?"
Julia Roberts "She rescues him right back.

9)


THE MOVIE: Ghost (1990)
THE SCENE: In what was really no more than a plot device that would make even Nicholas Sparks shudder we get this repeated phrase that somewhere some 35 year old man is repeating to his wife tonight thinking he is clever. 
THE LINE:  Demi Moore: "I love you." Patrick Swayze: "Ditto."


8)


THE MOVIE: Hope Floats (1998)
THE SCENE: Harry Connick Jr takes time away from shitty cameos for CSI-NCIS-FBI-Chattanooga to step in and deliver this dandy to a single mother who recently was embarrassed on a nation-wide talk show. 
THE LINE:  “Dancing is just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."


7) 


THE MOVIEEver After (1998) 
THE SCENE:  The context here might even be worse than the line. So, Drew Barrymore in some bastardized version of Cinderella is trying to explain to, of all people, Leonardo da Vinci why her romance is impossible.
THE LINE: ”A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?”  


6) 


THE MOVIE: City of Angels (1998)
THE SCENE: Meg Ryan waxes poetic as she’s lying in bed presumably mid-thrust with her lover-boy Alien, I mean Angel, "Seth" who's now become human.
THE LINE: ”We were made to fit together.” 


5), 4) and 3)


THE MOVIE(s): The Twilight Saga (2008 -12)
THE SCENE(s): I have no idea.  And I hope to keep it that way. I can only assume that Edward is mad that the sale at "Claire's" has ended and he will have to buy the expensive glitter now but wants his beloved Bella to know that despite these hard economic times he still wants to give her a mutant baby. 
THE LINE(s): "Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever." 
&
 "I've never wanted a human's blood so much before." 
&
"You're like my own personal brand of heroine." 


2)

THE MOVIEChronicles of Riddick  (2004)
THE SCENE: Vin Diesel is all of his steaming glory (literally, he emits steam in this flick) flicks one liners like he is Rodney Dangerfield and is somehow seen early in the film with Dame Judie Dench, who must have had some contractual obligation, and is clearly over-matched.
THE LINE"It's been a long time since I smelled beautiful." 


1)

THE MOVIEStar Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)
THE SCENE:  Natalie Portman professes her undying love in a way only George Lucas could have put it.
THE LINE: “Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo.

========================

And as a bonus I leave you with THE most romantic line ever spoken in film:

Where are all the white women at? - Blazing Saddles


Friday, February 10, 2012

The City is my Church: A.B.'s 2011 Music Blog


Top Tracks of 2011--
(consolidated list as shown on the daily fb feed)


1. Bon Iver - Halocene
2. M83 - Midnight City
3. College ft. Electric Youth - A Real Hero
4. The Antlers - I Don't Want Love
5. The Head and the Heart - Down in the Valley
6. Phantogram - Don't Move
7. Devotchka - All the Sand in All the Sea
8. GROUPLOVE - Colours
9. The Naked and Famous - Punching in a Dream
10. AWOLNATION - Sail 
11. Bon Iver - Calgary
12. The Head and the Heart - Lost in my Mind
13. Sea Wolf - Song for the Magpie
14. The Dodos - Black Knight
15. Typhoon - Honest Truth
16. Phantogram - Turning into Stone
17. Los Campesinos! - Hello Sadness
18. Fun ft. Janelle Monae - We are Young
19. Florence and the Machine - Shake it Out
20. We Were Promised Jetpacks - Medicine
21. Hurricane Bells - Possibilities
22. Lykke Li - I Follow Rivers
23. Papercranes - Synapses
24. M83 - Steve McQueen
25. The Airborne Toxic Event - Half of Something Else
26. Kanye West & Jay-Z - Niggas in Paris
27. Funeral Party - Finale
28. Neon Indian - Polish Girl
29. Explosions in the Sky - Last Known Surroundings
30. Bombay Bicycle Club - Shuffle
31. Rachel Yamagata - Even if I Don't
32. The Cults - Go Outside
33. The Joy Formidable - Whirring
34. The Naked and Famous - Girls Like You
35. Cold Cave - Great Pan is Dead
36. Sarah Jaffe - Clementine
37. Beirut - Sante Fe
38. Broken Records - A Darkness Rises Up
39. Opus Orange - Crystal Clear
40. Cut Copy - Need You Now

Top 40 Playlist --

Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/12440324/playlist/2pNYCKZn2otDUCUstdt7HX

Grooveshark Embedded:

A.B.'s Top 40 Tracks of 2011 by Aaron B. Koontz on Grooveshark
*Note: Sea Wolf - Song for the Magpie and Hurricane Bells - Possibilities were not available on Grooveshark but I found apt replacements for this playlist. The Hurricane Bells track in particular was my #2 song of 2009 even. The spotify playlists have all tracks accounted for properly.


Songs likely to be higher when I unfairly judge myself looking back at this next year:
15. Typhoon - Honest Truth 
18. Fun ft. Janelle Monae - We are Young 
34. The Naked and Famous - Girls Like You
And likely half a dozen or so Honorable Mention tracks I'm sure.


Last 5 Cut:
Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know
Ryan Adams - Lucky Now
The Airborne Toxic Event - Graveyard Near the House
Lana Del Rey - Video Games
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Hysterical

Honorable Mention Playlist --
(after the first 5 these are in no particular order)

Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/user/12440324/playlist/1e1hXxe8VXo4i5AtzN3Khf

Grooveshark Embedded:

Honorable Mention -2011 by Aaron B. Koontz on Grooveshark

Song Stats:
Bands/Artists Featured Multiple Times - 10

The Rare 3 Mentions --
Bon Iver - #1 and #11 plus an Honorable Mention
M83 - #2 and #24 plus an Honorable Mention
The Naked and Famous - #9 and #34 plus an Honorable Mention




Top 5 New Band/Artist discoveries (for me) in 2011
1) The Head and the Heart
2) The Naked and Famous

3) Typhoon
4) Givers
5) Foster the People






Top 15 Albums of 2011
1) Bon Iver - Bon Iver
2) Drive Soundtrack - Various Artists, Score by Cliff Martinez
3) M83 - Hurry Up We're Dreaming
4) The Naked and Famous - Passive Me, Aggressive You
5) The Head and the Heart - The Head and the Heart
6) Phantogram - Nightlife
7)  Super 8 - Score by Michael Giacchino
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZgw-eaz1_0&feature=player_embedded 
8) The Airborne Toxic Event -
All at Once
9) The Antlers - Burst Apart
10) GROUPLOVE - Never Trust a Happy Song
11) Explosions in the Sky
12) Moneyball - Score by Mychael Danna w/ contributions from 'This Will Destroy You'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJu0bNJKA6c&feature=player_embedded#!
13) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Hysterical
14) Lykke Li - Wounded Rhymes
15) Givers - In Light